Monday, December 15, 2008

Pete and Aloysius Save Christmas

This is a “Pete and Aloysius” (pronounced “al-o-wish-iss”) story. There is a history to the "Pete and Aloysius” stories. Many moons ago my nephews, were in need of a bedtime story. Preferably they wanted a story they had never heard before and one Aunt Erin could make up on the spur of the moment. And since Aunt Erin is not actually that fast at creating stories with enough blood, guts, magical creatures, sarcasm, and humor to entertain three little boys, she (I) stole from the greats- Aesop, the Brothers Grimm, and Disney. It started out with an attempt at recalling the Pete’s Dragon story, except I couldn’t remember the dragon’s name (it’s really Elliott), so I called him Aloysius. And then for reasons no one will ever know, I gave the dragon a Cajun accent and the voice of Foghorn Leghorn. And from that moment on, there were nightly demands for Pete, an incorrigible little boy, and his pet dragon with the Cajun accent, who were good at saving the world and, sometimes, much to my nephew’s chagrin, saving a girl too.
It only seemed appropriate that if I was going to write a Christmas story that it star Pete and Aloysius, for that is as sentimental and mushy as my imagination can go. For those of you who insist all Christmas stories have a feel good, sappy ending, I did my best. For those of you who just like little boy stories with dragons and a wry sense of humor, I hope I don't disappoint.

So without further ado, I give you-


Pete and Aloysius Save Christmas

For Tell and Dallin, please read this to Porter. Love, Aunt Owie.

It was a snowy Christmas Eve in the land of mischievous little boys. Little boys who were usually busy pushing their luck with the naughty list. Their patient and sweet mothers were reading the true Christmas story from the Bible, while their fathers were sneaking down to the basement to prepare for Santa’s arrival. One little boy held the title of Most Mischievous Little Boy in the Whole Land, and his name was Pete. Pete didn’t mean to cause so many problems, but sometimes, he just couldn’t help it. After all, it was hard to be good when you have an invisible flying pet dragon to play with.

But this was Christmas Eve and Pete wanted to be good for one whole night more than anything. He had told his pet dragon, Aloysius, that it was very important that they not get in trouble for one whole day, so that Santa Claus would bring them toys and candy in the morning. Aloysius, who was secretly hoping they would get a Wii for Christmas, understood, so he flew off on a short day trip and left Pete alone.

Pete worked very hard all day long at being good. He helped to clean the kitchen, and put away all of his toys, and most importantly he didn’t tease his little sister for three whole hours. (His mother was so happy.) But it was getting dark and a little boy could only be good for so long.

Pete went out in the backyard to play in the snow and make a stockpile of snowballs to greet Aloysius with when he got home. Cause nothing says lovin’ like snowballs on a dragon. Pete was busy packing the snowballs tight, and hiding them behind their fort when he noticed strange little paw prints leading behind the Boys Only Clubhouse.

Pete didn’t know what kind of animal made such paw prints. And without Aloysius there to turn invisible and investigate behind the shed for him, Pete grabbed his Jedi light saber and some really icy snowballs first. He got down on this stomach and belly crawled to the side of the clubhouse. He took a deep breath and leaned his head slowly around the corner. And what to his wondering eyes did appear?

A little tiny reindeer, with big huge eyes, and a bright red nose, trembling by himself in the snow.

“What the? Who are you?” Pete jumped up, and thrust out his light saber.

“I’m… mmm…mm… I’m Little Robin R-R-R-Reindeer!” The tiny reindeer stuttered nervously. “Are you Pete? I’m…mmm…mmm… l-l-l-l-looking for P-P-Pete!”

Pete didn’t trust talking animals. A sometimes-invisible-talking-pet dragon was one thing. But a tiny little stuttering reindeer? In Pete’s experience animals that could talk were bad news. There was that one big bad wolf who tried to eat Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, he could talk, and he was a bad guy. And then there was that troll that lived under the bridge, again bad news. And that other wolf who could huff and puff and blow houses down, and those whiny, needy three little pigs. Not to mention the Smurfs, the little tiny blue talking mushroom people were mostly good, but managed to get in trouble all the time! Pete had his reasons for not trusting a talking reindeer.

“What do you want with Pete?” Pete demanded of the little shaking reindeer.

The little tiny reindeer looked like he was going to cry. He kept staring at the light saber in fear. Pete lowered the light saber slowly, and dropped all of his icy snowballs. Little Robin Reindeer took in a deep breath and said, “It’s Christmas Eve, and all of the other reindeer are sick. And I’m too little to pull a sleigh all by myself! And Santa needs Pete’s dragon to help him deliver the presents to all the girls and boys. I mean to all the good girls and boys. We’re skipping all of the kids who don’t make their beds and brush their teeth this year. Bad economy you know.”

“How do you know about Pete’s dragon?” Pete asked skeptically. This could be a trap. Last he had heard the Big Bad Wolf was working with Gargumel to get revenge on Pete and Aloysius, so he had to be careful. But he wanted to believe the little reindeer.

“Everybody knows about Pete and Aloysius!” Little Robin exclaimed! “He saved Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel, and princesses told everybody about how brave and strong they are. Pete and Aloysius are the most famous heroes in all the land!”

“Really?” Pete said, crinkling up his nose. That was a little too much to believe.

“Really! A wicked witch, I forget which one, was trying to kill Rapunzel, and Pete and Aloysius swooped up into the sky and saved her from her tower, and took her to the prince, and the prince gave Pete a medal and everything!” Robin said excitedly.

Pete was wearing that medal under his sweatshirt right at that very moment. But he wasn’t going to tell the reindeer that.

“BOY! I say, BOY! What are we waiting for?!” A loud dragon voice bellowed from behind Pete, causing Pete and the little reindeer to jump in the air. “Santa needs our help! And I don’t know ‘bout you, but I want some presents this year!”

Aloysius was invisible, but Pete could tell from the large dent in the snow, and the snowballs juggling by themselves in the air, that he was standing right behind him. “Aloysius! Don’t scare me like that! How do we know we can trust him? How do we know he’s not working for the Big Bad Wolf?” Pete argued.

“Because the Big Bad Wolf don't work with other people, or reindeer. He woulda eated that reindeer. Besides, he ain’t smart enough to think up a plan like that. A wolf in woman’s clothing. Like we weren’t going to see right though that. Big Bad Dumb Wolf, I say!” Aloysius pointed out in his big Cajun voice.

Pete thought his over for a moment, and turned back around to Little Robin Reindeer. “So what exactly do you need from us?”

“I told you!” Little Robin exclaimed. “All of the reindeer ate candy canes leftover from 1972, and now they are all sick. They can’t fly Santa’s sleigh. So I thought maybe Aloysius could fly the sleigh!”

“Wait, do Santa and the other reindeer know you are here? Was this all your idea?” Pete asked.

“W-w-w-well… yes.” Little Robin said shyly.

“Boy! We’ll do it!” Aloysius proclaimed! “This will be our best adventure ever! We’ll go down in history, like Columbus!”

“Oh good!” Little Robin hopped up and down.

“Wait, how am I supposed to sneak off on Christmas Eve without my parents knowing?” Pete asked.

“Dat’s an easy one, Boy! Go run in the house right now, tell your parents you are going to bed right now, run to your room, jump out the window, and I’ll catch you. We’ll be back before they wake up! Oh, and grab your coat, cause it gets mighty chilly flying that far north.” Aloysius explained. And then just for effect he blew fire on his hands to warm them up. Little Robin jumped back several feet when he saw the flames.

“Good idea! I’ll be right out. And catch me this time! Don't let me fall a few feet first.” Pete ordered. And so Pete ran in the house, said goodnight to his parents and ran up the stairs and right out the window. He jumped onto the flying dragon’s back, right next to the trembling reindeer, and thought, “No wonder no one ever believes me!”

Aloysius flew high into the sky and headed to the North Pole. Occasionally Little Robin would give him directions like, “Second star to the right, and then straight on to morning.” The unlikely trio just kept going and going, when finally they spotted the brightly colored elf cottages at the North Pole.

They caused quite a scene circling down into the little village full of elves. Elves are very suspicious of dragons, and began to throw snowballs up at him to make him go away. But snowballs are nothing against dragon hide, and just bounced right off of Aloysius.

As they got lower the elves could see Little Robin on Aloysius’ back, along with Pete. Little Robin tried to yell out so they could hear him, but his little voice couldn’t be heard very far. Finally they landed, right in the town square, with hundreds of elves coming out of their houses to see the huge dragon. Little Robin and Pete slid off his back and timidly walked out to talk to the growing crowd.

The biggest elf approached them and said, “Little Robin, what is the meaning of this? It is Christmas Eve, the reindeer are all sick, and then you disappear, worrying us half to death, and then you come back with a reindeer, and a little boy?? Two of the most forbidden creatures in the North Pole!!”

“I-I-I-I’mmmm, s-s-s-sorry, Elfmaster Elwyn. I thought I could help. This boy is Pete, and his flying pet dragon, Aloysius. I th-th-thought maybe they could fly Santa’s sleigh tonight!” Little Robin stammered nervously.

As he said Pete and Aloysius’ names a hush came over the elfin crowd. They whispered amongst themselves and pointed. Pete looked at Aloysius with a questioning shrug. “What was wrong with these elves,” he thought silently.

As if he could hear Pete’s thoughts, Little Robin quietly explained, “The elves worship Rapunzel. They love her. After you saved her life from that witch, you became a hero to them.”

“Oh,” was all Pete could say.

Suddenly, the crowd began to part, and the biggest man Pete had ever seen walked right towards Pete and Aloysius. He had to be 10 feet tall and 6 feet wide. He was as big as Pete’s “Boys Only Clubhouse.” He was wearing a red suit, and a red hat, with a big white ball as big as Pete’s head on the end of it. The man had a big smile on his face, and a big white fuzzy beard that hung almost to his big black belt. Pete only came up to the big red man’s knee. And then Pete realized who it was. It was Santa. It was really Santa! And he was huge! No wonder it took so many reindeer to carry him! He was HUGE! There was no way a man that size could fit down a fireplace chimney. There weren’t any fireplaces in the whole world that big!

“Well, ho, ho, ho, if it isn’t Pete! How are you, my little man? I haven’t heard from you all year!” Santa bellowed. Well, actually, he might have just been talking, but his voice was so big it sounded like a huge bellow. Santa reached down to pat Pete on the head. Pete was so nervous he began to tremble with fright. And yet, there was something jolly and good about the big man. But that didn’t change the fact that suddenly Pete could remember every single time, whether big or small, he was naughty in the past year.

“I wonder if rescuing princesses makes you so good that sometimes Santa forgets when you don’t do your homework?” Pete thought to himself.

“Now, now there, son, there’s no need to be so scared. I don’t bite!” Santa laughed, and all the elves laughed with him. Santa’s laugh was so loud, and his tummy shook so big, that Pete thought it didn’t sound much like a bowl full of jelly, and sounded more like an earthquake about to happen. But still, it was one of the happiest sounds he had ever heard. And slowly, Pete smiled too.

When Santa laughed it was contagious and soon everyone was laughing, including Aloysius. The elves were slowly walking up to the big dragon, careful to avoid the occasional flames that burst out of his nose when Aloysius would snort laugh, and pet him on his belly. Aloysius loved every second of it. Little tiny elf hands were ticklish on big rough dragon hide! Even Santa, who was almost as tall as Aloysius, came over to pet the big dragon.

But then, the big North Pole clock tower struck the hour, and big bells rang everywhere. Suddenly, the elves all jumped up and started to run around nervously. Elfmaster Elwyn started barking out orders, making sure everyone was working hard. He turned around to look at Pete, Aloysius, and Santa, and asked, “So, you’ll do it then?”

“Do what?” Pete asked. He had almost forgotten why it was they came to the North Pole.

“You’ll fly Santa’s sleigh tonight!” Elfmaster Elwyn said with exasperation in his voice. “Not that you have much choice in the matter. You’ve seen the jolly red man, that means you have to stay.”

“What?” Pete exclaimed!

“What, I say, WHAT?” Aloysius cried out in his big spicy voice.

“You saw the real Santa, so now you have to stay at the North Pole!” Elwyn explained. Pete and Aloysius were confused. Elwyn continued, “That is how you become an elf. Don’t tell me you didn’t know that!” Elwyn rolled his eyes and shook his head at Little Robin Reindeer. “You didn’t tell them the rules? Oh dear me. Yes, well, the rules of the North Pole, Christmas, and Santa Claus are if and when a child sees the real Santa Claus they can no longer be trusted with the general public at large. They know too much. So Santa takes them with him, and brings them to the North Pole where they become an elf. That’s how we all got here. My real name is Joey, and I’m from Jersey City, New Jersey. I caught Santa Claus sneaking down the chimney when I was six years old. That was 104 years ago. I’ve been living at the North Pole ever since. And now that you have seen the real Santa, you will be becoming an elf soon too. It tickles a bit when the points on your ears grow in, but you get used to it.

“But first, we’re going to need you to guide Santa’s sleigh tonight. Have you ever read a topographical, map before? No? Well, you’ll learn how soon enough. Now, you, Dragon, how fast can you fly? You’ll have to keep up an air speed of 200 reindeer miles per minute as you fly, think you can handle that? Great. Santa, I think we are ready. We’ll just have to make a few adjustments to the reindeer harnesses to get them to fit around this dragon here, but I think it will all work out perfectly.”

Pete just stood there with his mouth wide open. Become an elf? Pointy ears? Read a map? Guide the sleigh? What if he didn’t want to become an elf? What if he couldn’t read the map and they got lost and no one got toys this year? And what if Aloysius dropped the sleigh or something? This could be a disaster!

But no one was paying Pete any attention. The elves were already running around trying to figure out how to turn 8 reindeer harnesses into one big dragon harness. Some other elves were trying to push and pull a big red sleigh out of a nearby garage. The sleigh was huge. It was bigger that Pete’s mom’s minivan, maybe even the whole garage. It had to be 20 feet tall, and 40 feet wide! It even had an escalator built on the side so the elves could get up inside. It was the coolest thing Pete had ever seen.

The elves were busy loading up the sleigh. They made an assembly line, and tossed one big red bag after another to each other, and filled the sleigh up. And then, just as the North Pole Clock Tower struck zero, everything was complete. The sleigh was full, Aloysius was wearing a ginormous fuzzy red harness, and Pete could feel his ears tingling funny.

It was time. All of the elves lined up in a big row next to the sleigh and began cheering. Santa ran up the line getting high fives and fist bumps from all of the elves. He ran up the escalator and turned back to face Pete. Pete was so excited he forgot all of his fears and ran up the line behind Santa. All of the elves cheered for Pete as he ran to the sleigh. Santa cheered the loudest with his big booming voice that could be heard almost as far away as the South Pole. Pete couldn't wait to get flying!

With a crack of the jingle bell whip Aloysius started with a run, pulling the big huge crazy sleigh, and off they went into the sky. Pete looked at the sky and saw the stars so close he could almost touch them. He reached out to try and grab one (what a cool surprise that would be to take back to school next week), but Santa reached over and pulled him back into his seat. “Please keep your arms and legs inside the sleigh while the dragon is in motion! HO HO HO!”

Pete laughed at Santa's joke. It was all so amazing- the toys, the sleigh, Santa, everything! And then Pete looked behind them to wave goodbye to the North Pole and saw that snow was shooting out from the back of the sleigh. Everywhere they went there was snow falling!

Santa looked at Pete watching the snow fall below them. “That's a part of our disguise! Pretty clever, don't you think? The snow helps hide the big sleigh as we fly over. Ever since we hooked up the snow blower we've cut down on Santa sightings 47.1%. Oh look! It's our first stop!”

Santa pulled on the reins and Aloysius became invisible as they turned to the right, slowly circling over a small house with no chimney. Pete couldn't see how this was going to work. Santa was so big, he would never fit in through those tiny windows. How did Santa do it anyway?

They landed gently on the front yard, and Santa grabbed the first big red bag and went down the escalator. He slowly darted up to the front door, just like they do in spy movies, so Pete did too. They hid behind bushes, ran around the garage, and crawled up to the front step. Santa placed one hand on the door, and reached his other hand into his pocket. Pete's eyes were huge as he thought Santa was about to pick-pocket the door! No way! But instead Santa pulled out a glowing red rock that jingled when it moved.

“What the heck?” Pete whispered!

“Shh!! It's the Jingle Bell Rock! All you have to do is hold the rock and think really hard about Christmas trees. And then- poof- you are there!” Santa explained in a quiet whisper.

“Then why did we just sneak across the yard?” Pete asked.

“Because its more fun that way!” Santa laughed. “And because the rock only works if you are touching the house you want to go in.”

“Oh” Pete said, completely unsure if he believed all of this.

“Ready?” Santa asked. Pete nodded. “Then think about a Christmas tree.”

Pete pictured his own tree back at home, tall and green, with red ribbons around it, and lots of little ornaments. Suddenly, he was standing in a living room he had never seen before. Santa was already busy pulling presents out of the bag. Pete watched in wonder as Santa pulled out toy after toy and placed them under the tree- in total silence.

Santa turned to Pete and said, “Grab those cookies will you? I'll eat them in the sleigh.”

Pete obediently turned and put the cookies in his pocket. When he turned back around, Santa was all done. They walked back over to the door and pulled out the Jingle Bell Rock again. “Just think of the sleigh, okay?”

Pete closed his eyes and thought of the sleigh. When he opened his eyes, he was outside in the yard, right by the sleigh. Santa was already up in the sleigh, getting ready to go. Pete ran up the escalator to join him.

“Do you have those cookies for me?” Santa asked.

“Yes, here you go.” Pete handed them over to Santa.

“Good, you guide the sleigh while I eat the cookies.” Santa said and put a cookie in his mouth. “Peanut butter oatmeal, my favorite.”

Pete took the reigns from Santa and off they flew. They went faster and higher than Pete and Aloysius had ever gone before. Aloysius cheered out, “Boy! I say, boy! I say... WOW!” And Pete laughed. They both loved flying with Santa. They swooped over the mountains, darted through trees, and Aloysius did some fancy footwork to get them through several apartment complexes.

Suddenly Pete looked over at Santa and realized Santa had gotten smaller! He wasn't as tall as the trees anymore. He was almost normal man size. “Hey, how did you do that?” Pete exclaimed!

“Every time I eat a cookie, I get smaller. All year long I get bigger and bigger, so that by Christmas, I'm the size of a giant. But then, on Christmas Eve I eat all of the cookies, and I go back to normal size. And once I'm normal size again I can live in the regular world and nobody knows who I am. But by October I'm getting pretty big again, and its time to go back to the North Pole to start getting ready for Christmas. Of course, its too risky for the reindeer to come fly down and get me, so I have to walk up to the North Pole. I'm so big and my beard gets so long that people call me Big Foot sometimes. Pretty funny, huh?” Santa laughed again, his big “ho ho ho” shook the whole sleigh.

Pete had heard a lot of crazy things in his life, but so far Santa was the craziest thing he had ever heard. They flew through the night, from house to house, using the Jingle Bell Rock to get them in the houses without chimneys. When there was a chimney, the Jingle Bell Rock to slide them down into the fireplaces. You never knew what you were going to find in the fireplaces though, so Pete preferred the front door method. Every where they went Pete grabbed the cookies, and sometimes the milk, for Santa. Pete would fly the sleigh while Santa ate his cookies. And no matter what kind of cookies they were, Santa always said they were his favorite kind.

Suddenly they were flying over Pete's house. He had approached it from the air so many times before on Aloysius' back that he recognized it immediately. And then he remembered, he wasn't going home anymore. He had to go live at the North Pole and become an elf. He slowly reached up to feel his ears. They definitely felt pointier.

Santa put his arm around Pete. “Many boys and girls miss their homes when they first come to the North Pole. But we have every single toy ever made and you'll have so much fun, you'll forget all about your past life. Plus we do have lots of fun reindeer games to play. Every elf has a Wii in his own bedroom too. You'll have Aloysius with you there too, if you want.”

Pete looked at his house and felt very sad. It was Christmas, and all he really wanted to do was spend Christmas with his family. Flying the sleigh was the most exciting thing he had ever done. And he loved spreading cheer and toys to all of the good little children. And the North Pole had every single toy ever, not to mention a Wii in his bedroom! How could he say no to that?? But it wasn't the same. He wanted to open presents with his mom and dad. And he couldn't wait to see his little sister open up the special present he had bought for her. It was hiding under his bed right now. Would she even get it if Pete went back to the North Pole?

“Santa, I don't think I want to be an elf. It sounds like a lot of fun, but...” Pete didn't know how to explain. Was there anyway Santa could break the rules for him just this one time?

“But what, Pete?” Santa asked gently. He looked at Pete with big understanding eyes.

“But, I want to be with my family,” Pete said with tears in his own eyes.

“Well, Pete, because you have done a great service by helping us save Christmas tonight, I'll let you choose. Home or the North Pole. When we get to the chimney, and we touch the Jingle Bell Rock, your choice will be made. Do you understand? You must be completely sure where it is you want to be. Is it the land of toys and elves? Or back in your own bed?”

Pete and Santa went down the escalator and landed on the rooftop. Pete walked up to Aloysius' big dragon face and hugged him. “Aloysius, you know what I have to do.”

Aloysius rubbed his big rough nose against Pete. “Boy, I say, Boy, I'm witchu no matter whatchu do!”

Pete walked back over to Santa and said, “Thanks for everything! This has been the best night of my whole life.”

Santa held out the Jingle Bell Rock. Pete reached out to touch it and closed his eyes thinking of the happiest place in the whole world.

The next morning Pete woke up in his own bed and saw snow falling outside of his window. He ran over to look for signs of Santa Claus and Aloysius. It all seemed like a dream now. Had it all really happened? Pete looked over the yard and could see snowballs magically juggling themselves beside the fort. Suddenly one of the snowballs threw itself through the air and hit Pete's window. Pete laughed and knew it was Aloysius playing invisible.

Then Pete remembered the present for his sister hiding under his bed. He grabbed it and ran downstairs to put it under the tree. The living room was more beautiful than he had ever seen it before. The tree was all lit up, with red ribbons all around it, and presents all around the floor. But it was his stocking hung by the chimney with care that Pete went to first.

He reached inside the red stocking. He pulled out a little note wrapped around a glowing red rock that jingled when he moved it. The note simply said, “Just think of the place you want to be.”

Just then Pete's mom, dad, and sister all came down the stairs and ran to the tree. And Pete knew he was right were he wanted to be.

The End.



Story Annie

Several years ago a guy I didn't know so well, and didn't like so much, told me I "told too many stories." He didn't like that I could write a story on the spot and color it in with my imagination. To insult me, or maybe he thought it was teasing, (he wasn't the most tactful or socially brilliant guy), he called me "Story Annie." He thought he was so clever coming up with this supposedly derogatory name. But what I heard was the perfect name for my alter ego- the part of me that loves to write stories.
That guy would one year later be immortalized as one of the more awful characters in the book I wrote with my best friend Juli, "Beyond Perfection." I wonder if that guy ever could have imagined that by insulting me, and being, quite frankly, a total jackass to me, that he'd be the instigation of my writing career? But that's giving him too much credit. I always wanted to write. I've always needed an outlet for all the silly stories and scenarios I devise in my head. He just unwittingly gave me the name I wanted to do it with.
The truth is, I may have one more book left in me. After all, I've written 100 pages of it already, and I just need to bunker down and finish the remaining 200 pages that are in my  head and put them on paper. But who knows if and when that will ever happen.
But really, I don't care if I ever write another book. I just want to have fun writing and telling stories. So I've decided to do my own thing here, and use this blog to write stories and share them. Ironically, with Google AdSense on the page, and just enough traffic to this site, I could conceivably make more money doing it this way, than I could publishing another book, and going through the tedious editing and publishing process.
Some of the stories you will find here will be installments of a longer story, or chapters in a book that will never be written. Others will be new stories as they come out of my head. I'll try to organize it so you can follow along with me. Some will be children's stories, such as new chapters in the "Pete and Aloysius" saga. Some will be a little more adult in nature. They will all just be whatever feels like falling out of my head. There will also be no rhyme or reason as to when I will add new material, so I suggest adding this to your RSS feeder or bookmarks.

*storyannie*